My Family

I just enjoyed a week off of work and returned in today. It was a bit of a wrench, I got used to waking up with Archie and enjoying playing with him whilst he is the most smiley - in the morning he seems to grin at anything and seeing a big gummy smile is great first thing in the morning.

I've realised that I haven't mentioned my new job on here. Basically, in a nutshell, I love it.

I work with a great team and during the day we have a great laugh. The work I do is enjoyable, and working on the new business is very fulfilling. It is taking shape and will look excellent. I think that the advertising that I will be flogging will sell itself, which makes my job even easier.

We get out of the office once a month for some fun, and I have enjoyed pool competitions, a "games day" competition and best of all we went go karting one morning.

My boss is fantastic and really does put family first. When I told people that after my interview a lot of people were sceptical, they said he'd say that sort of thing in an interview along with his claim that it is a strict 35 hour week... but he does live by his word. At 4.55pm he is getting everyone to log off of their computers and go home.

As for family comes first, he gave me two weeks fully paid leave (in addition to my holiday entitlement) when Archie was born, which was great as I wasn't entitled to it. He gave me paid time off to take Lucie to various appointments and even said I could attend antenatal classes (but I thought that was too unfair on my colleagues who would have to cover for me).

Furthermore, he offered me the chance to go home the other day when he learnt that my family was having some issues. "Look mate, you know my policy on families, that comes first and if you need to go and sort things out just go".

Basically, my sister has left home. That's no biggie in itself, but it's the manner in which she did it. Acting like a 12 year old, she moved some clothes out whilst everyone else was out, refused to tell anyone where she was and she refused to discuss it with my parents.

OK, that's not too bad, but lets not forget that there is a four year old and a six year old girl involved in this who lost their dad in February.

They started off coping well but as time has gone on they have showed signs of suffering. One of them started wetting the bed, the other cried if she suddenly realised that she didn't know where her mum was and will only fall asleep in her arms. They did really badly over Fathers' Day and asked if they could have their daddy back for Christmas.

In the opinion of our GP, they need counselling... and so does my sister. She has become much more emotional and argumentative. I mean, she was hardly what I would call emotionally stable in an argument anyway, but she has been a lot worse lately. What sparked all this off was my mum asking her to tidy her room a little, as you couldn't see the floor in there and she needed some washing baskets back (they were all in her room, full up with clothes that my mum ironed for her).

So she's disappeared and I've constantly had my mum on the phone in tears. They haven't seen the girls that my parents have helped raise for their whole lives since she sneaked out.

At first I stayed relatively neutral when discussing it with my sister, purely because it allowed me to get some information about her whereabouts and how the girls were doing. But after a week I couldn't take it any more and called her to let her know exactly how I felt - that she should have a lot more bloody respect for my parents who have helped support her her whole life (she has never left home) and who did a lot for her when her husband tragically died.

At the end of the call I thought maybe I was getting somewhere as she started talking about when she could see my parents, but when she came around (I was there) she just stood in the doorway to the living room and didn't say a word. My sister, a 26 year old mother of two, still acts like a five year old.

She claims that she 'needs her own space' and that she can live as a single parent "because the government will help". Basically, she's taking counsel from some friends and not listening to her family. She's obviously told them about how "horrible" my parents are and they are giving her advice that I would never give anyone else. We even know who these people are because my mum works with them, and they even told my sister that my mum had send them a text telling her not to bother ever coming home... a text that was never sent.

She's told us all about the benefits she'll get, supposedly she'll get her rent paid and help with the council tax. But having never lived on her own I don't think that she appreciates everything else that comes with living on your own - electricity, gas, water, tv licence, phone, transport, food.

She has had her ass wiped for her over the last few years with babysitters on demand and paying only £50 a month for food and rent. One of the issues that has been causing arguments is that lately she says to my parents "I'm going out" at the drop of a hat and expects them to look after the kids. She might get a shock when she wants to go out with her friends next and realises that she has two kids to consider.

And she needs to think about furniture. She had the audacity to ask my parents to take the furniture in her room - furniture that my parents purchased. They rightfully said no, and are slowly becoming more militant. They've changed all the locks on the doors as she was coming in whilst people were out and taking things with god knows who, and I hope slowly she'll realise that there were better ways of doing all of this (my parents have already said that they would have helped her move somewhere more local where they could still support her and the girls if she had told them that she wanted to move out, and even offered this as an alternative early on in this whole escapade).

She claims that she can live in a remote village where she has found a house which requires two bus changes to get the girls to primary school, which is probably a novelty now but we'll see how long it will last. Her workplace is another bus journey away which to me just proves that she's not thinking any of this through.

Either way, I've washed my hands of it now and until I decide she's seeing sense we're not talking. The only time I hear about it is when my mum phones me in tears yet again.

Work stuff

So, just to expand on my post the other day.

On Tuesday I had three interviews over in Bristol, and my boss was kind enough to give me the day off at relatively short notice to go to them (he did say that he would give any assistance to help me find new employment).

The first I was quite hopeful for anyway as I had had a good conversation with the director on the telephone before we arranged an interview. He lives just down the road from where I grew up, which was a talking point, as was the fact that I was starting a family - he's just had his second child and is a big family man so completely appreciated why we wanted to be closer to family.

The second was at the University of Bristol within their JobShop service. As well as offering students help with finding work, I would also be required to talk to local business leaders in order to convince them to advertise through them, so not entirely different to my current role.

The final interview was at a small IT security firm. The job advert asked for someone with some sales experience, when I spoke to the owner on the phone it turned out that I would be the first one and the guy would want me to slowly build up a sales team.

I went to the first positive about it but wanting to get a better feel for what the role would entail. It didn't disappoint, it will be a very varied role in a very small company, doing anything from marketing, selling, operations, fulfilment, working on new business ideas, writing up news stories etc.

I enjoyed the interview and think I really stumped them when I asked if there were any gaps in my CV or anything they felt I was lacking for the role (always a good question to ask in an interview! Remember, it's better to try and respond to it than them finishing the interview and pondering on your weaknesses)

During the interview he asked what I was doing after and said he wanted to take me to lunch, which I was more than happy to accept. We walked there after the interview and talked a bit more casually, sat down and chatted more. He really is passionate about two things: enjoying his work and his family. I think we talked more about family than work.

Part way through he said something along the lines of "I'm not going to beat about the bush with you and sit here with a poker face and say I will consider things and get back to you in a few days - I will be offering you the job and would love you to join the team. I have interviewed a couple of people and have a few more in, but if you take the job I will be quite happy to cancel them. When I first read your covering letter and CV I was impressed, I spoke to you on the phone and was impressed and I was hoping that when I interviewed you you would still impress me".

We carried on talking about stuff and I said to him that I would let him know at the end of the day. He said he didn't want to pressurise me and I could have a few days to think it over, but I insisted that I had no other jobs in the pipeline that I really wanted to be interviewed for so would know my mind by the end of the day. He said to call after 8pm as 6-8 during the week is his time playing with the kids. We shook hands and I went off to get ready for my next interview.

Then I decided that I didn't really want to go for it anyway. There were several reasons. Firstly, it was in an area of Bristol that I would need to catch the bus for. That might sound silly, but I'm not paying finance on my car just to catch a bus everyday. Secondly, they had annoyed me somewhat by calling me to invite me to interview, but failing to mention that they would want me to prepare for an exam and a presentation, the instructions for which were pretty vague and I had to e-mail for clarification for (which also took them a few days to respond to).

I called them and just said that I had been offered a position and would be taking it, so I didn't want to waste their time.

I now had a few hours to kill so headed to the Mall where I knew a friend was and spent some time with her before attending my last interview. That one went well - the owner even e-mailed me after to say so. But there were a couple of things that confused me about it. Firstly, he said that until now they had grown organically but now he needed a dedicated salesperson as he didn't have the time to do all the sales. He believed in his product and wanted to take it to "the next level". But then he was saying that he wouldn't want me targeting really large companies as they wouldn't be able to handle the contract, and that he didn't want to grow the company beyond 10 people as it would be too difficult to manage. He even had to ask me how my current bonus was calculated and structured, and admitted that he hadn't given it much thought for this position yet. Tempting!

Basically, I questioned his motivation. My current boss is very motivated and has a clear dream of what he wants the company to be and where he wants it to be in the future. I was surprised that it was lacking in him.

So in the end it was a pretty easy decision. And for my new role I can move back home - literally. I haven't lived in the town where I grew up for six years, but can commute into work from there in about the same time it would take if I lived in Bristol (due to the traffic). We will be right with family but only 40 minutes from friends, and can easily visit. If Lu wants to see anyone during the week, I can easily get her a lift in and she can catch the bus from there.

Our alternatives are to live in North Bristol, where I know most people, and have a journey of the same length before and after work, albeit not moving so quickly, or live in South Bristol where Lucie would have to take two or three buses to see friends and two or three buses to see family - which seemed not to make much sense.

Now on to house hunting again!