Am I mad?

OK, as promised, here is an update....

First of all, Pip is fine. We have another ultrasound scan today, hence I'm off work. There's something nerve-racking about them, as there is always the niggling thought that they might find something wrong. But so far all has been well with the pregnancy, so touch wood!

Next, work...

Yes, I handed in my notice last week. I am probably mad, hell, I don't even have a job to go into (which has pleased our parents somewhat). But, basically it all boils down to one major reason: homesickness.

I've never really been homesick before, I haven't lived at home since I left for uni six years ago. I've lived in Bristol, Swindon and now Basingstoke. And it does feel like a move too far. Whereas I've always lived about an hour or less from home and friends, I now live two hours away (if the tourist traffic by Stonehenge isn't too bad). This makes a day trip pretty much impossible and I always need to plan to head back for two days. And when I do do that, I feel like I haven't really had two days off work and head back in knackered.

And miserable, as going home always makes me realise what I'm missing. I don't see my friends often enough, I don't see family often enough, and I'm missing my nieces growing up - which pains me even more now that they don't have a father.

I think that's when it really hit home what I'm missing. When Neal died in February, I felt truly isolated from my family for the first time.

Then there is the baby. Again, we're going to be miles from our support network when Pip is born. Lucie really isn't looking forward to being sat at home all day with a baby - as you can probably imagine, we don't really know anyone out here. I began to worry that she might get post-natal depression from this (we spoke and it turns out it was something she was worrying about as well).

Work is next. I'm not enjoying it as much as I should, whilst I love the company and we are looked after well, the job itself isn't everything I hoped for. In effect, I can be a bit bored as most days feel the same. Trust me, when you do the job I used to do it is quite a change! I was actually beginning to find it hard to get up in the morning. You shouldn't have to begin to dread work, should you?

I know the sensible thing to do would be to find a new job then move. But we're in a contract at our house and need to give two months to break it. You could also say "why not wait until the end of the contract?"

But that would put us in October and I'll have a two month old baby. To me, moving with a newborn and having a potentially unsafe job situation is a lot more insane than this plan.

What is our plan?

Well, as I said, I've handed in my notice and am currently working it. We are only living here for another two months until the end of June, and mid-June Lucie will start her maternity leave as she's putting holiday at the start.

I'm looking for work, but if I don't find any immediately we'll be moving in with my mother-in-law. Not ideal, but needs be. If I do find work then we'll try and move straight into another property.

Doing this gives me a chance to get back into work before the baby is born, which seemed the best compromise despite our parents' protests (which are mixed between "great! You're coming home!" and "you have a child on the way! You need to be earning money!".