My mistakes

I'm sat on the sofa and I'm bored. Here's the truth: I'm very good at doing nothing during the weekend. But these enforced times of no work don't sit too well with me. I was the same waiting to start my last job. There's only so many small things to do around the house - our washing basket has never been so empty. And going out means I'll probably just end up spending money.

So sitting here leads me towards writing on my blog. And here is the first time that I say to the general public: I made some mistakes.

When I took the job out here, I made a mistake.

They told me the work would be hard. They told me that it would be boring at times, but they all say that, don't they?

What I found was that I really hated the work. I just couldn't cope with the mind-numbness of it. Day after day after day it was the same structure, there was no variety.

I made a mistake when I calculated travelling distances. From Swindon, friends in Bristol were about 45 minutes away, family about an hour. I thought at the time "Basingstoke is only an extra 40 minutes down the road". It didn't seem to bad driving it from Swindon.

Of course, the fatal flaw was not adding the two together. It's one hell of a miserable journey. And when added together, it made visiting people very difficult.

I made a mistake thinking that I could live in Basingstoke. I thought "hell, I've lived in Swindon. It can't be worse". But Swindon was better than here, with the added caveat that friends and family weren't far away.

I made a mistake in underestimating job satisfaction and how much this means you need your friends. I think it's inversely proportional. I didn't always love management, I didn't always love bingo, so I don't want to rose tint it too much. But I did get a hell of a lot of job satisfaction most of the time. So most days I was quite content.

But when you're not enjoying your work, you need those people around you all the more. Otherwise your free time is just spent wishing you were around them. Couple this with the horrendous travel and it only gets worse.

I made a mistake when I was having trouble getting out of bed in the morning in making the assumption that I could "work through it". I would wake up late, have the worlds quickest shower, shovel down some breakfast and drive to work, all within the space of 40 minutes. I honestly thought it was a phase, that maybe I was just finding it hard to adjust to office hours compared to many years of working unsocial hours.

But now I realise that it was the thought of going to work that was keeping me in bed for nearly an hour longer than I should have been. This has been backed up by the fact that over the last few days, with the threat of work gone, I have woken up quite happily before my alarm even goes off.

So yes, a catalogue of mistakes. But you know what?

I don't regret any of them. Here's why.

I've been unhappy at work and to an extent unhappy at home, but Lucie and I are as strong as ever. No arguing, no fights. Just in it together.

I have a baby on the way, without moving out this way we wouldn't have Pip. Yes, Lucie is likely to have got pregnant at some point, but not with Pip. She is getting bigger by the day and I can't wait to meet my child. Because of Basingstoke, I am going to be a dad to Pip.

Moving out here has made me truly realise the importance of a support network. I had it to a degree in Swindon but it was absent out here. Your friends and family are important when things aren't quite going to plan, and when you need them you miss them. I'm sure that I could live many miles from them again if needed, but I've learnt that I only could if the circumstances are right.

The job, whilst not always loved, has given me some fantastic skills and experience. It looks brilliant on my CV and has made it a million times stronger. It is something that was commented on in every interview I went in.

And finally, I'm a person that works towards success. I don't usually bang on about it, but here's a secret: I have a blog that only I can see on the internet where I collect my goals, my ambitions and my successes all in one place. I had several goals written down when I moved to Basingstoke, and despite the last eight months they only need adjusting. Everything I learnt out here has been rewritten into the goals. It is through learning that we grow stronger and makes achieving the goals more possible. If you want the cheesy analogy of a journey, I'm still on course for the destination, I just had to adjust my course a little.

I've made mistakes, but in my journey this period of my life has not been a failure, it's been a learning experience that has made me stronger and made me realise a lot. I know so much more about myself than I did nine months ago.