So last Tuesday my GP tells me that I need to go to hospital for them to wield a scalpel in my face and hack away at my eyelid.
"The government have introduced a new online booking system, it's called choose and book. It will allow you choose which hospital to get treatment at, see waiting times and easily book your appointment online"
They have to register me on the system and give me an ID number and password. This will take a week. They can't just phone the hospital themselves and get it sorted.
So today my wife picks the letter up from the GP surgery and calls me to let me know the details. Bristol Eye Hospital has 'too long a waiting list' so I'm told that I must choose one of the other local hospitals - no big deal as they're easier to get to anyway.
Log in and see the rather long waiting times of 35 days, 48 days and 69 days in various hospitals. However, I can't book online.... what's the point of waiting for a week? I have to call my 'local central bookings number'.
Call them and sit on hold for five minutes before getting through to someone. Give over a huge number of personal details to verify who I am and five minutes into the call am told that actually, they don't handle bookings for that department and I have to contact the RUH direct. She gives me the number and also transfers me.
So what was the point of that number?
Sit in another queue for five minutes before being getting through. Give over all my personal details again. Asked if it is OK to hold for a bit as they have to call the department to check something. Kept on hold for six minutes.
She apologises and said that she had actually 'misunderstood' something (so didn't have to be put on hold after all). I'm given an appointment for the middle of February before I'm asked two 'diversity questions' - marital status (wtf?) and ethnic origin.
So..... in short..... what the hell is the point of this new swanky online booking system? Why did I have to wait seven days when you can't book online anyway?
(And it's not just that I was unlucky - my colleague had to book an appointment a month or two ago for a gammy bollock and had the same issues)
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
Monday, 5 January 2009
Year in the life of Rob, 2008
Year in the life of Rob, 2008
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Moved into my own place back where I grew up - it's weird to think it but I've always stayed in a place owned by family or Lu's mum.
Went paintballing. Went go-karting. Injured myself on a space hopper
Been told that I'd caused a a positive pregnancy test. Watched ultrasound scans. Watched other people inspect my wife in ways that I thought only I should. And of course, I became a dad - one of the best things in the world.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
As stated many, many times before I don't do new years resolutions, but last year I thought about taking swimming lessons so Lu could have some company whilst swimming. But after going swimming once I remembered why I hate the activity.
I also mused about learning a language, but once I realised we weren't going on holiday it seemed pointless.
It isn't a resolution as I started before New Year, but I'm (re)learning the guitar. I learnt and had lessons as a kid and desperately wanted to do it again - I thought it would be nice to have something to teach Archie at some point if he wanted me to. So I went out and bought a cheap but gorgeous guitar and am teaching myself. I have surprised myself with how much I remember, but I need a lot of practice to make myself anywhere near competent.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My wife and Jen.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Unfortunately yes. As you're probably aware, my brother-in-law was killed in a work accident in February. I can't say too much as it's currently with the Health and Safety Executive, but it really affected me and to this day still does. I can honestly say a week doesn't go by where I get a little emotional about it.
5. What countries did you visit?
None
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
No idea... more time to myself maybe? Since Archie came along and Lu isn't at work I don't have any time in the house that is purely just me. It might sound selfish but sometimes I miss that chance to just do whatever I want.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Lucie telling me on the phone at work that she'd taken a pregnancy test and that it was positive. The phone call from my mum to inform me of Neal's death. Neal's funeral. Going into his shed for the first time about two months after his death, seeing that it was just as he left it (nobody had the stomach to clear it out) and smelling the smell of his workshop, the smell I knew so well from when I'd chat to him in there and feeling that he could literally just come home at any minute, which caused me to break down uncontrollably in a way I hadn't since his funeral.
And similar to last year, the date I got offered my new job, albeit a different one. Going to Wembley to watch my team get a chance to be promoted to the Premiership. Archie's birth. Being told that I'd be getting a four figure Christmas bonus (though a lot of it was swallowed up by the taxman and then Christmas)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Doing the right thing and coming home. Oh, and spawning some offspring
9. What was your biggest failure?
Taking so damn long to move home.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was doing alright for colds and flu but got caught by a couple towards the end of the year. I'm off to the doctors tomorrow about my eye as I've had a lump on the eyelid since July. I know I should have had it looked at sooner but I thought it might sort itself out. Plus I know that it can sometimes be a pointless journey.
I injured myself racing a child-sized space hopper against my colleagues. It's not everyday you come home from work and announce that you did that at work.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My car
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Well, she gave birth didn't she?
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Hanson Quarries, Neal's boss, and in the last quarter of the year, my sister.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Archie, my car
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Taking delivery of my car. The pregnancy. Being a dad.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2007?
MGMT - Failing to Pretend
Kings of Leon - Sex on Fire
Oasis - The Shock of the Lightning
One Night Only - Just for Tonight
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 100% happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter I'm afraid, though the weight gain has slowed.
c) richer or poorer? Poorer – That's what kids will do I suppose. Plus Lu isn't working which has created a huge dent in the ol' finances.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Thinking truly about what would make me happy
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Procrastinating on biting the bullet and handing in my notice.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it at my parents' all day. I ended up playing Guitar Hero with my brother until 11.30pm. We spent time with Lu's family on New Years.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
With Archie I suppose
22. How many one-night stands?
I can't think of anything witty to say about this any more
23. What was your favourite TV program?
I don't watch much TV any more - not really anything new anyway. Though I did get into Skins and it made me yearn for home.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I normally say no, but this year it's a yes... Neal's boss for reasons that would probably make you angry too.
25. What was the best book you read?
You'll probably think I'm mad but a parenting book my Penelope Leach. It was very much along the lines of "do whatever feels right with your baby, if they're not crying you're probably doing fine". It helps but you at ease when you have a momentary "argh!" panic attack when you wonder how you're going to deal with a baby 24/7.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I'm ashamed to say that I've only just started listening to Ted Nugent. If you don't know what I'm talking about look him up on Youtube
27. What did you want and get?
A better car and a job I wanted to do.
28. What did you want and not get?
A holiday
29. What was your favourite film of this year?
Quantum of Solace. Not because it was the best but because it was the first time Lu and I got to go out after Archie was born. The Dark Knight was probably my favourite film that we went to watch though.
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was stuck in Cheltenham on a training course.
31.What would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If the job had actually worked out. On the plus side, the fact that it didn't meant that I moved back home and actually got into an ace job.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
The same, nothing changes. Though I've started shaving less.
33. What kept you sane?
Moving home. Waking up in the morning to see Archie smiling. Coming home from work and seeing Archie smiling.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Back to Kelly Brook I think.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
36. Who did you miss?
My family, so I moved back home. I felt very isolated when Neal died and felt useless for helping people out. And of course Neal - often I wonder what I would say if I could say just one more thing to him.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Archie. My new boss.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008
Sometimes people are taken from you suddenly and without warning. Don't live morbidly but remember they're there and how you'd feel if they weren't. Then make an effort to not waste it all .
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
So this is Christmas....
...or so they'll have us believe.
Bah humbug.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not about to launch into a rant about "the good old days". I am under no illusions that Christmas used to be some sacred tradition - even Victorians moaned about 'Christmas in September' and creeping commercialisation. It's not a new phenomenon.
Neither am I going to whinge about companies supposedly hijacking the period. They are merely catering for demand, and people never seem to learn that they either create that demand or at least respond to it. Hell, I even appreciate why some people, especially those on low incomes, need to buy for Christmas in slowly in advance so they can afford it.
But I just wish that it really did only last a couple of weeks at most. I truly believe that if it did I would be the biggest Christmas fanatic going. I would get excited about decorations and "getting into the spirit".
But after seeing Christmas decorations in Bristol's Cabot Circus shopping centre last month and walking into my local Tesco today to be greeted by a large Christmas tree I'm just grumpy about it all as usual.
Anyone else?
Bah humbug.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not about to launch into a rant about "the good old days". I am under no illusions that Christmas used to be some sacred tradition - even Victorians moaned about 'Christmas in September' and creeping commercialisation. It's not a new phenomenon.
Neither am I going to whinge about companies supposedly hijacking the period. They are merely catering for demand, and people never seem to learn that they either create that demand or at least respond to it. Hell, I even appreciate why some people, especially those on low incomes, need to buy for Christmas in slowly in advance so they can afford it.
But I just wish that it really did only last a couple of weeks at most. I truly believe that if it did I would be the biggest Christmas fanatic going. I would get excited about decorations and "getting into the spirit".
But after seeing Christmas decorations in Bristol's Cabot Circus shopping centre last month and walking into my local Tesco today to be greeted by a large Christmas tree I'm just grumpy about it all as usual.
Anyone else?
Monday, 10 November 2008
My Family
I just enjoyed a week off of work and returned in today. It was a bit of a wrench, I got used to waking up with Archie and enjoying playing with him whilst he is the most smiley - in the morning he seems to grin at anything and seeing a big gummy smile is great first thing in the morning.
I've realised that I haven't mentioned my new job on here. Basically, in a nutshell, I love it.
I work with a great team and during the day we have a great laugh. The work I do is enjoyable, and working on the new business is very fulfilling. It is taking shape and will look excellent. I think that the advertising that I will be flogging will sell itself, which makes my job even easier.
We get out of the office once a month for some fun, and I have enjoyed pool competitions, a "games day" competition and best of all we went go karting one morning.
My boss is fantastic and really does put family first. When I told people that after my interview a lot of people were sceptical, they said he'd say that sort of thing in an interview along with his claim that it is a strict 35 hour week... but he does live by his word. At 4.55pm he is getting everyone to log off of their computers and go home.
As for family comes first, he gave me two weeks fully paid leave (in addition to my holiday entitlement) when Archie was born, which was great as I wasn't entitled to it. He gave me paid time off to take Lucie to various appointments and even said I could attend antenatal classes (but I thought that was too unfair on my colleagues who would have to cover for me).
Furthermore, he offered me the chance to go home the other day when he learnt that my family was having some issues. "Look mate, you know my policy on families, that comes first and if you need to go and sort things out just go".
Basically, my sister has left home. That's no biggie in itself, but it's the manner in which she did it. Acting like a 12 year old, she moved some clothes out whilst everyone else was out, refused to tell anyone where she was and she refused to discuss it with my parents.
OK, that's not too bad, but lets not forget that there is a four year old and a six year old girl involved in this who lost their dad in February.
They started off coping well but as time has gone on they have showed signs of suffering. One of them started wetting the bed, the other cried if she suddenly realised that she didn't know where her mum was and will only fall asleep in her arms. They did really badly over Fathers' Day and asked if they could have their daddy back for Christmas.
In the opinion of our GP, they need counselling... and so does my sister. She has become much more emotional and argumentative. I mean, she was hardly what I would call emotionally stable in an argument anyway, but she has been a lot worse lately. What sparked all this off was my mum asking her to tidy her room a little, as you couldn't see the floor in there and she needed some washing baskets back (they were all in her room, full up with clothes that my mum ironed for her).
So she's disappeared and I've constantly had my mum on the phone in tears. They haven't seen the girls that my parents have helped raise for their whole lives since she sneaked out.
At first I stayed relatively neutral when discussing it with my sister, purely because it allowed me to get some information about her whereabouts and how the girls were doing. But after a week I couldn't take it any more and called her to let her know exactly how I felt - that she should have a lot more bloody respect for my parents who have helped support her her whole life (she has never left home) and who did a lot for her when her husband tragically died.
At the end of the call I thought maybe I was getting somewhere as she started talking about when she could see my parents, but when she came around (I was there) she just stood in the doorway to the living room and didn't say a word. My sister, a 26 year old mother of two, still acts like a five year old.
She claims that she 'needs her own space' and that she can live as a single parent "because the government will help". Basically, she's taking counsel from some friends and not listening to her family. She's obviously told them about how "horrible" my parents are and they are giving her advice that I would never give anyone else. We even know who these people are because my mum works with them, and they even told my sister that my mum had send them a text telling her not to bother ever coming home... a text that was never sent.
She's told us all about the benefits she'll get, supposedly she'll get her rent paid and help with the council tax. But having never lived on her own I don't think that she appreciates everything else that comes with living on your own - electricity, gas, water, tv licence, phone, transport, food.
She has had her ass wiped for her over the last few years with babysitters on demand and paying only £50 a month for food and rent. One of the issues that has been causing arguments is that lately she says to my parents "I'm going out" at the drop of a hat and expects them to look after the kids. She might get a shock when she wants to go out with her friends next and realises that she has two kids to consider.
And she needs to think about furniture. She had the audacity to ask my parents to take the furniture in her room - furniture that my parents purchased. They rightfully said no, and are slowly becoming more militant. They've changed all the locks on the doors as she was coming in whilst people were out and taking things with god knows who, and I hope slowly she'll realise that there were better ways of doing all of this (my parents have already said that they would have helped her move somewhere more local where they could still support her and the girls if she had told them that she wanted to move out, and even offered this as an alternative early on in this whole escapade).
She claims that she can live in a remote village where she has found a house which requires two bus changes to get the girls to primary school, which is probably a novelty now but we'll see how long it will last. Her workplace is another bus journey away which to me just proves that she's not thinking any of this through.
Either way, I've washed my hands of it now and until I decide she's seeing sense we're not talking. The only time I hear about it is when my mum phones me in tears yet again.
I've realised that I haven't mentioned my new job on here. Basically, in a nutshell, I love it.
I work with a great team and during the day we have a great laugh. The work I do is enjoyable, and working on the new business is very fulfilling. It is taking shape and will look excellent. I think that the advertising that I will be flogging will sell itself, which makes my job even easier.
We get out of the office once a month for some fun, and I have enjoyed pool competitions, a "games day" competition and best of all we went go karting one morning.
My boss is fantastic and really does put family first. When I told people that after my interview a lot of people were sceptical, they said he'd say that sort of thing in an interview along with his claim that it is a strict 35 hour week... but he does live by his word. At 4.55pm he is getting everyone to log off of their computers and go home.
As for family comes first, he gave me two weeks fully paid leave (in addition to my holiday entitlement) when Archie was born, which was great as I wasn't entitled to it. He gave me paid time off to take Lucie to various appointments and even said I could attend antenatal classes (but I thought that was too unfair on my colleagues who would have to cover for me).
Furthermore, he offered me the chance to go home the other day when he learnt that my family was having some issues. "Look mate, you know my policy on families, that comes first and if you need to go and sort things out just go".
Basically, my sister has left home. That's no biggie in itself, but it's the manner in which she did it. Acting like a 12 year old, she moved some clothes out whilst everyone else was out, refused to tell anyone where she was and she refused to discuss it with my parents.
OK, that's not too bad, but lets not forget that there is a four year old and a six year old girl involved in this who lost their dad in February.
They started off coping well but as time has gone on they have showed signs of suffering. One of them started wetting the bed, the other cried if she suddenly realised that she didn't know where her mum was and will only fall asleep in her arms. They did really badly over Fathers' Day and asked if they could have their daddy back for Christmas.
In the opinion of our GP, they need counselling... and so does my sister. She has become much more emotional and argumentative. I mean, she was hardly what I would call emotionally stable in an argument anyway, but she has been a lot worse lately. What sparked all this off was my mum asking her to tidy her room a little, as you couldn't see the floor in there and she needed some washing baskets back (they were all in her room, full up with clothes that my mum ironed for her).
So she's disappeared and I've constantly had my mum on the phone in tears. They haven't seen the girls that my parents have helped raise for their whole lives since she sneaked out.
At first I stayed relatively neutral when discussing it with my sister, purely because it allowed me to get some information about her whereabouts and how the girls were doing. But after a week I couldn't take it any more and called her to let her know exactly how I felt - that she should have a lot more bloody respect for my parents who have helped support her her whole life (she has never left home) and who did a lot for her when her husband tragically died.
At the end of the call I thought maybe I was getting somewhere as she started talking about when she could see my parents, but when she came around (I was there) she just stood in the doorway to the living room and didn't say a word. My sister, a 26 year old mother of two, still acts like a five year old.
She claims that she 'needs her own space' and that she can live as a single parent "because the government will help". Basically, she's taking counsel from some friends and not listening to her family. She's obviously told them about how "horrible" my parents are and they are giving her advice that I would never give anyone else. We even know who these people are because my mum works with them, and they even told my sister that my mum had send them a text telling her not to bother ever coming home... a text that was never sent.
She's told us all about the benefits she'll get, supposedly she'll get her rent paid and help with the council tax. But having never lived on her own I don't think that she appreciates everything else that comes with living on your own - electricity, gas, water, tv licence, phone, transport, food.
She has had her ass wiped for her over the last few years with babysitters on demand and paying only £50 a month for food and rent. One of the issues that has been causing arguments is that lately she says to my parents "I'm going out" at the drop of a hat and expects them to look after the kids. She might get a shock when she wants to go out with her friends next and realises that she has two kids to consider.
And she needs to think about furniture. She had the audacity to ask my parents to take the furniture in her room - furniture that my parents purchased. They rightfully said no, and are slowly becoming more militant. They've changed all the locks on the doors as she was coming in whilst people were out and taking things with god knows who, and I hope slowly she'll realise that there were better ways of doing all of this (my parents have already said that they would have helped her move somewhere more local where they could still support her and the girls if she had told them that she wanted to move out, and even offered this as an alternative early on in this whole escapade).
She claims that she can live in a remote village where she has found a house which requires two bus changes to get the girls to primary school, which is probably a novelty now but we'll see how long it will last. Her workplace is another bus journey away which to me just proves that she's not thinking any of this through.
Either way, I've washed my hands of it now and until I decide she's seeing sense we're not talking. The only time I hear about it is when my mum phones me in tears yet again.
Thursday, 6 November 2008
Oh yes - Archie's number one song
It's usually a fun game when you're older to find out what song was number one when you were born.
In the run up to Archie's birth I was genuinely concerned that his song was going to be Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl", which I seriously hated. It's just pure pap and didn't want it associated with my child's birth.
But, since he was born on the Sunday, swooping in to save the day were the Kings of Leon with their great hit 'Sex on Fire'. Result!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=4J4SJBB09yw
In the run up to Archie's birth I was genuinely concerned that his song was going to be Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl", which I seriously hated. It's just pure pap and didn't want it associated with my child's birth.
But, since he was born on the Sunday, swooping in to save the day were the Kings of Leon with their great hit 'Sex on Fire'. Result!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=4J4SJBB09yw
More stuff about Archie's first days
I suppose that I should expand a little on my last post about our time at the hospital. I finished talking about how I was just about to get some sleep after being up all of Sunday. Lets expand on Sunday a bit more.
So I couldn't get more than two minute cat naps in the chair I was provided with. Lucie wasn't exactly running around as she was in bed hooked up to a catheter. Come the morning, I was starving and went in search of breakfast and a newspaper. It turned out that on a Sunday in Bath RUH everything stays shut until the afternoon, so in the end I had to get some food in the restaurant at the hospital. A bit on the pricey side but at least it was food.
Grandparents visited in the evening, though I was slightly annoyed at my mother-in-law - we only had a visiting time for relatives of one hour with only two guests at a time, so I meticulously planned it so that Lu's mum and dad visited for the first half an hour and my parents visited for the second half an hour.
Lu's mum turned up with her partner David, and Lu's dad wasn't allowed in. David agreed to step out so Lu's Dad could come in, and then after half an hour I was trying to subtlely (and then not so subtlely) get Lu's mum to clear off so my parents could come in. Eventually it was only because the receptionist came down at about 42 minutes into visiting time to tell us that we had another two guests waiting that Lu's mum left.
We had a great midwife on Sunday evening who at first seemed a little... matrony... but once you got to know her was great. For example, I wasn't too sure if Archie had done a wee at all since he was born, so around 8pm mentioned it to her and asked if it was anything to worry about. She replied with "that's nothing to worry about, worry when he starts driving". Definitely put my mind at ease! Of course, on cue, at around 8.15pm she returned to find me with wee all down me.
She also insisted that Lu get out of bed and into a chair. I think that this started Lu's recover from the caescarean, and she clearly understood the importance of keeping active to start the recovery process.
That night I didn't so much drive home as sort of.... floated. It was weird, I wasn't falling asleep at the wheel or anything and was very well aware of hazards on the road (I remember seeing a fox crossing the road in the distance and being wary of cars pulling up in case they opened their doors in front of me) but at the same time it was very much autopilot. Mind you, I suppose that happens with 40 odd hours with no sleep.
On Monday I returned as early as I could, but this time taking a bag full of food to munch rather than relying on the food in the hospital. Lu hadn't had a good night with Archie as she couldn't comfort and settle him properly due to being bed bound. The midwives offered to take him but couldn't do it straight away due to being busy, by which point he was pretty upset and refused to settle. I, on the other hand, had passed out as soon as I was in the bedroom and not woke until my alarm, which had been going off for about five minutes, finally roused me.
Aside from sleep deprivation, Lucie was doing well by this point so was moved up to the ward. Because of the circumstances of her birth she was kept on the delivery suite for the whole of Sunday. Moving up to the ward was weird. We had gotten so used to the delivery suite and the people that worked there, having been there since Saturday. Even though in reality we hadn't been there long, it felt like ages. You have to be buzzed in to all the baby wards by a member of staff, and on the delivery suite I just had to say my first name as they all knew me. However, on the ward I had to say "hi, this is Robert Weeks, husband of Lucinda Weeks... Archie...... her room? Uh.... 3"
I also knew where to get tea and coffee, where the toilet was etc. Being on a different ward was a little disorientating. On the plus side, we were now next to a window and whilst the view wasn't stunning it was nice to have.
Our new midwife indicated that if Lu's blood pressure returned to a good level she could return home the next day. I had a feeling when I walked into the hospital Tuesday morning that this could happen as when I arrived Lucie and Archie were nowhere to be seen and I had to find a member of staff who told me that she was attempting to have a shower (it turns out that she had had her catheter removed at about 6am that morning).
This did indeed happen so just like that we were ready to leave the hospital and it was a very weird experience. A young doctor came in to go over Lucie's notes, ask her a few questions and check her caescarean scar. At the end he said "everything's looking good so you can go home, congratulations and best of luck" and walked off. Lucie and I just sat there thinking... what now? Do we just leave? We asked the midwife who pretty much said yes - just let the receptionist know you're going. I was expecting grand checks: I was expecting people to ensure that Archie was suitably dressed, I was expecting people to check how many blankets he had, I was expecting people to check he had a hat, I was expecting people to check the car seat, I was expecting someone to walk us to the car and check we knew how to install it safely.....
When in fact, none of this happened. We walked down the corridor and I expected someone to yell "stop! What are you doing?" but we merely walked up to the receptionist's desk and she crossed our name off a list. No one even glanced at the car seat.
So yes, leaving the hospital was the hardest step. I hear a lot of people talk about the drive home being a huge strain, that they drove at 10mph the whole way. But the driving bit was easy, I just drove normally. It was just the getting to the car bit. It was also odd for Lu, who hadn't been outside in nearly four days.
The next few days were a revolving door of family but also excursions outside. Lu defied all the usual inhibitions of a caescarean (much to many peoples' horror) and refused to be housebound. We visited the supermarket, went to a breastfeeding club and took Archie out for several pram walks. We always went at her pace but that didn't stop people reacting with shock when they heard that she had had a caescarean, but I place a lot of the kudos for her recovery with the midwife that insisted that she got out of bed.
We had to attend our local hospital (the one we planned to have Archie in) every day for the first week. Usually a midwife visits you at home until they are happy to sign you over to the health visitor but they were short staffed and going in wasn't too much hassle (and, if anything, it was good to get out of the house). They signed us off pretty quickly as they commented that we appeared to be two very proud parents who were coping very well.
After the hard step of getting Archie out of hospital, the next hard step for me was returning to work. My boss had been kind enough to allow me two week fully paid off work when I wasn't entitled to it, and returning to work and leaving Archie was hard. And I still find it difficult leaving in the morning if he isn't awake.
That'll do for now!
So I couldn't get more than two minute cat naps in the chair I was provided with. Lucie wasn't exactly running around as she was in bed hooked up to a catheter. Come the morning, I was starving and went in search of breakfast and a newspaper. It turned out that on a Sunday in Bath RUH everything stays shut until the afternoon, so in the end I had to get some food in the restaurant at the hospital. A bit on the pricey side but at least it was food.
Grandparents visited in the evening, though I was slightly annoyed at my mother-in-law - we only had a visiting time for relatives of one hour with only two guests at a time, so I meticulously planned it so that Lu's mum and dad visited for the first half an hour and my parents visited for the second half an hour.
Lu's mum turned up with her partner David, and Lu's dad wasn't allowed in. David agreed to step out so Lu's Dad could come in, and then after half an hour I was trying to subtlely (and then not so subtlely) get Lu's mum to clear off so my parents could come in. Eventually it was only because the receptionist came down at about 42 minutes into visiting time to tell us that we had another two guests waiting that Lu's mum left.
We had a great midwife on Sunday evening who at first seemed a little... matrony... but once you got to know her was great. For example, I wasn't too sure if Archie had done a wee at all since he was born, so around 8pm mentioned it to her and asked if it was anything to worry about. She replied with "that's nothing to worry about, worry when he starts driving". Definitely put my mind at ease! Of course, on cue, at around 8.15pm she returned to find me with wee all down me.
She also insisted that Lu get out of bed and into a chair. I think that this started Lu's recover from the caescarean, and she clearly understood the importance of keeping active to start the recovery process.
That night I didn't so much drive home as sort of.... floated. It was weird, I wasn't falling asleep at the wheel or anything and was very well aware of hazards on the road (I remember seeing a fox crossing the road in the distance and being wary of cars pulling up in case they opened their doors in front of me) but at the same time it was very much autopilot. Mind you, I suppose that happens with 40 odd hours with no sleep.
On Monday I returned as early as I could, but this time taking a bag full of food to munch rather than relying on the food in the hospital. Lu hadn't had a good night with Archie as she couldn't comfort and settle him properly due to being bed bound. The midwives offered to take him but couldn't do it straight away due to being busy, by which point he was pretty upset and refused to settle. I, on the other hand, had passed out as soon as I was in the bedroom and not woke until my alarm, which had been going off for about five minutes, finally roused me.
Aside from sleep deprivation, Lucie was doing well by this point so was moved up to the ward. Because of the circumstances of her birth she was kept on the delivery suite for the whole of Sunday. Moving up to the ward was weird. We had gotten so used to the delivery suite and the people that worked there, having been there since Saturday. Even though in reality we hadn't been there long, it felt like ages. You have to be buzzed in to all the baby wards by a member of staff, and on the delivery suite I just had to say my first name as they all knew me. However, on the ward I had to say "hi, this is Robert Weeks, husband of Lucinda Weeks... Archie...... her room? Uh.... 3"
I also knew where to get tea and coffee, where the toilet was etc. Being on a different ward was a little disorientating. On the plus side, we were now next to a window and whilst the view wasn't stunning it was nice to have.
Our new midwife indicated that if Lu's blood pressure returned to a good level she could return home the next day. I had a feeling when I walked into the hospital Tuesday morning that this could happen as when I arrived Lucie and Archie were nowhere to be seen and I had to find a member of staff who told me that she was attempting to have a shower (it turns out that she had had her catheter removed at about 6am that morning).
This did indeed happen so just like that we were ready to leave the hospital and it was a very weird experience. A young doctor came in to go over Lucie's notes, ask her a few questions and check her caescarean scar. At the end he said "everything's looking good so you can go home, congratulations and best of luck" and walked off. Lucie and I just sat there thinking... what now? Do we just leave? We asked the midwife who pretty much said yes - just let the receptionist know you're going. I was expecting grand checks: I was expecting people to ensure that Archie was suitably dressed, I was expecting people to check how many blankets he had, I was expecting people to check he had a hat, I was expecting people to check the car seat, I was expecting someone to walk us to the car and check we knew how to install it safely.....
When in fact, none of this happened. We walked down the corridor and I expected someone to yell "stop! What are you doing?" but we merely walked up to the receptionist's desk and she crossed our name off a list. No one even glanced at the car seat.
So yes, leaving the hospital was the hardest step. I hear a lot of people talk about the drive home being a huge strain, that they drove at 10mph the whole way. But the driving bit was easy, I just drove normally. It was just the getting to the car bit. It was also odd for Lu, who hadn't been outside in nearly four days.
The next few days were a revolving door of family but also excursions outside. Lu defied all the usual inhibitions of a caescarean (much to many peoples' horror) and refused to be housebound. We visited the supermarket, went to a breastfeeding club and took Archie out for several pram walks. We always went at her pace but that didn't stop people reacting with shock when they heard that she had had a caescarean, but I place a lot of the kudos for her recovery with the midwife that insisted that she got out of bed.
We had to attend our local hospital (the one we planned to have Archie in) every day for the first week. Usually a midwife visits you at home until they are happy to sign you over to the health visitor but they were short staffed and going in wasn't too much hassle (and, if anything, it was good to get out of the house). They signed us off pretty quickly as they commented that we appeared to be two very proud parents who were coping very well.
After the hard step of getting Archie out of hospital, the next hard step for me was returning to work. My boss had been kind enough to allow me two week fully paid off work when I wasn't entitled to it, and returning to work and leaving Archie was hard. And I still find it difficult leaving in the morning if he isn't awake.
That'll do for now!
Thursday, 16 October 2008
Hello all! And the birth of my son...
Well, I haven't posted since June. Things have been so busy with work and the new addition to the family. I thought that a good place to start would be the story of the birth of Archie Lewis, our son. I'm just going to copy and paste what I wrote on a forum when I got home from hospital. I haven't edited it so I would like to ask you all to please bear in mind that at the time I had been up for around 42 hours.... so forgive any horrific grammar or spelling.
- - - - - - - -
So the story....
Lucie woke me up at 4am on Saturday morning to let me know that Pip was thinking about making an appearance. She had been up off and on since 1am but initially thought that they were Braxton Hicks contractions so didn't wake me. However, by 4am they started gaining in regularity so woke me.
I grabbed a shower whilst I could and then ran Lu a bath.
By 7.30am they were lasting around 50 seconds and were two and a half minutes apart, this was quite close, so we rang our local community hospital who told us to go in. After an examination she found that the cervix was only 1-2cm dilated (needs to be around 10cm), so suggested that the best course of action would be to go home and wait until the contractions became unbearable. She suggested relaxing for a few hours to rest and then getting active to bring the contractions on stronger. She did say that this wouldn't go backwards and the baby was definitely on its way.
Lu began to find them unbearable around 6.30pm so we went back to the hospital, only to find that she hadn't dilated any further. To make things worse, her blood pressure had shot up so the midwife told us that we would have to go to Bath RUH.
We got in the car and arrived at 8pm. The contractions now had been non-stop since 4am and it was beginning to affect Lu. We were assigned a midwife who hooked her up to a CTG monitor and said "lets have a baby". I have to say, our midwife was excellent, as was our registrar (which you'll see later).
At 8.30pm they decided that breaking Lu's waters manually could help so did this.
Contractions were getting more painful by 10pm but the cervix was still only at 4cm. Things were progressing slower than they should have been, and to make things worse the baby's heart rate kept dropping on the really strong contractions and took a while to recover. They inserted a heart rate monitor into the birth canal that clipped onto the baby's head, this made measuring the heart rate much much more accurate, but this only confirmed the heart rate dropping more than it should.
However, at this stage it was explained to us that some babies have a lower 'base rate' and this could be the case with our child. If it continued they would do some blood test from the baby's scalp, which I can't remember the exact details of, in order to find the base rate and know exactly when it would become a problem. However, in the end they noted that the heart rate always returned to normal after around ten seconds so decided that the baby was fine.
At this stage, around 11pm Lucie was in real pain and stuggling to cope with the contractions - I can hardly blame her, as she had been having heavy contractions for hours and hours at this stage. She didn't want an epidural, but this changed as she found the contractions too hard to bear. She had gas and air but found it made her dizzy and feel out of control.
I have to admit, whilst not before the birth thrilled with the idea of an epidural, I was so glad she had one. Yes, I know that SHE was the one dealing with the labour, but I was mentally and physically exhausted by this stage having followed her through every contraction since 4am, and witnessing her in so much pain just made it worse. I'm not afraid to admit that whilst she wasn't looking I cried a little, then covered it up in order to carry on supporting her.
The anaesthetist arrived at 11.15pm and the effects were immediate, and if anything miraculous. She went from being in horrendous pain and unable to breath properly or talk to relaxed and cracking jokes.
The registrar was checking on our progress around every 30 minutes at this stage, due to the slow progression despite intense contractions, the dipping heart rate and the fact that Lucie had traces of protein in her urine and her blood pressure was still high (a possible sign of pre-eclampsia)
At this stage she warned me out of earshot of Lu that at some point they MIGHT have to take matters into their own hands and perform a caesarean section. If that did happen, things would go crazy, around five people would run into the room and take her straight to theatre, and that I wasn't to panic and just follow them.
Between this stage and 2.30am things were much more relaxed and the midwife just monitored the baby and Lucie, and we talked a lot together.
At around 2.30am progress was still slow, so it was decided to use a syntocin drip to move things along. This makes contractions even stronger so Lu's epidural was topped up.
This is when it gets hairy....
They administered this, and at around 2.49am there was a huge contraction (they register on the CTG monitor, so even though Lu had the epidural they knew the intensity of them) and the baby's heart rate halved. The registrar was called back in who stared at the results for about fifteen seconds, saying "go up, come on, up... just like you have all through tonight".
They didn't and suddenly after one yell about getting Lu to theatre immediately the room was full of medical staff, someone yelled for the anaesthetist and Lu was wheeled out the door, with the midwife telling me to follow.
We went down the corridor and on the way the registrar was trying to relax Lu - she said that she was still going to try to deliver the baby naturally ASAP, but if that failed they needed to be ready in surgery. As we reached the theatre the midwife pointed at a door and told me to strip down to my pants and put on a pair of scrubs and wait to be called in.
At 2.54am I was still anxiously waiting when a man in scrubs enter the room. He introduced himself as one of the surgeons and explained that as soon as they had entered theatre there made been some major complications. The baby was in distress and they had to put Lucie under general anaesthetic (i.e. knocked out) and because of that I couldn't go in. They were delivering the baby by emergency caesarean as we spoke and Lu would then be stitched up and taken to recovery. The baby might have had to go to intensive care, but he couldn't say for sure as he had left the room as it was being delivered when they realised that someone needed to update me on progress - they had had to move extremely quickly in theatre to save the baby so I was, in effect, an afterthought (which on this occasion I didn't mind).
The surgeon was great and really put my mind at ease when what he said should have knocked me for six. It turned out later that he also spoke calmly to Lucie as they were about to put her under general anaesthetic without having the time to explain fully why and helped her relax.
At 2.56am the midwife came into the room and said "congratulations, it's a boy!" and hugged me. She said that he was doing brilliant and they were just cleaning him up and dressing him to bring him through to me (as Lucie was still unconscious and being sewn up).
The next six minutes were a nightmare for me as I only wanted to ensure that both of my family where OK. It was overwhelming as only fifteen minutes before we had been going through an extremely slow labour, and suddenly my wife was under general anaesthetic having major surgery and my baby having to have its life saved through quick action.
At 3.02am the midwife finally bought my son into the room. As I cuddled him she pointed out that he had marks on his face where the registrar had to use forceps to deliver him, and that he had a birthmark right on his nose. I couldn't care less, he was absolutely beautiful to me.
She explained that Lucie would take some time to recover before she would be well enough to see the baby, so we returned to our delivery room where I spend fifty minutes on my own with my son, with the odd midwife dropping in to say congratulations. One said that I must be starving and offered me a hot drink and sandwiches. I suddenly discovered that it is almost impossible to open vacuum-packed sandwiches with one hand.
I had made a point of talking to the baby a lot during the pregnancy, as they say it helps them bond with you when they are born, and I will never forget the moment I took a crying Archie into my hands, I spoke to him and he stopped to look at me. He then spent the next 50 minutes just staring at me.
During this time the registrar came in to check on me, apologise for what had happened and explain. The baby's heart rate had dropped and she had every intention of trying a natural birth in the theatre as the baby was only "two or three pushes" from being born. However, the heart rate had continued to drop so she made the snap decision to perform a caesarean. To perform a 'normal' one with local anaesthetic takes around 20 minutes to set up (so that the anaesthetic has time to kick on). We didn't have that luxury so Lucie had to have a general anaesthetic ASAP.
During the surgery they found that the baby had it's umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, so she had to work quickly and pull him out with forceps. Luckily the baby was still happily breathing and the heart was beating, though if it had gone on it wouldn't have been that way.
She explained that on each heavy contraction the baby was probably being pushed into the birth canal and the twisted umbilical cord tightened causing the heart rate to drop. However, the baby would be able to move back upwards so the pressure eased.
However, after the syntocin drip the huge contraction caused the cervix to fully dilate and the baby to shoot most of the way down the birth canal. This obviously caused the serious problems.
Finally at 4am they said that we could go and see Lucie in the recovery room. I have to admit that she looked terrible and it wasn't fun to see her shaking (a side effect of such a heavy anaesthetic dose) or the various machines hooked up to her beeping away. I introduced her to our son and slowly watched her get better with time, and the colour returning to her face and the shaking stop.
At this stage we were moved to one of the mixed rooms with other pregnant or new mothers and various staff came in to regularly check blood pressure etc. Lucie was able to try to breastfeed at this point, and was successful. I took the opportunity to step outside and call our parents, as I was aware that it was now around two and a half hours since the baby was born.
Luckily I was told that I could stay the night with Lucie and our newborn, this was significant as at some labour wards if the baby is born out of visiting hours they make him leave soon after the birth.
I returned to the room and sat in a "comfy" chair provided for me. I desperately wanted to sleep having been up since 4am the previous day, but discovered in the next ten minutes or so that I would be constantly interrupted by nurses and midwives discussing things, and the automatic blood pressure monitor making a loud noise every time it started a new calculation. And the chair wasn't that comfy anyway, and whenever I dropped off my head would tilt forward and wake me up.
So at 7am I was still awake and spent all of today doing various tasks and changing tar-like nappies with no further feelings. To say I am knackered is an understatement. I'm now at home by myself as Lucie has to stay in (but will be back in at 8am in the morning and stay with them until 9pm tomorrow evening). I'm really missing my son already, though at least I know that he's next to his mum at the moment.
It was a hell of a ride!
- - - - - - - -
So the story....
Lucie woke me up at 4am on Saturday morning to let me know that Pip was thinking about making an appearance. She had been up off and on since 1am but initially thought that they were Braxton Hicks contractions so didn't wake me. However, by 4am they started gaining in regularity so woke me.
I grabbed a shower whilst I could and then ran Lu a bath.
By 7.30am they were lasting around 50 seconds and were two and a half minutes apart, this was quite close, so we rang our local community hospital who told us to go in. After an examination she found that the cervix was only 1-2cm dilated (needs to be around 10cm), so suggested that the best course of action would be to go home and wait until the contractions became unbearable. She suggested relaxing for a few hours to rest and then getting active to bring the contractions on stronger. She did say that this wouldn't go backwards and the baby was definitely on its way.
Lu began to find them unbearable around 6.30pm so we went back to the hospital, only to find that she hadn't dilated any further. To make things worse, her blood pressure had shot up so the midwife told us that we would have to go to Bath RUH.
We got in the car and arrived at 8pm. The contractions now had been non-stop since 4am and it was beginning to affect Lu. We were assigned a midwife who hooked her up to a CTG monitor and said "lets have a baby". I have to say, our midwife was excellent, as was our registrar (which you'll see later).
At 8.30pm they decided that breaking Lu's waters manually could help so did this.
Contractions were getting more painful by 10pm but the cervix was still only at 4cm. Things were progressing slower than they should have been, and to make things worse the baby's heart rate kept dropping on the really strong contractions and took a while to recover. They inserted a heart rate monitor into the birth canal that clipped onto the baby's head, this made measuring the heart rate much much more accurate, but this only confirmed the heart rate dropping more than it should.
However, at this stage it was explained to us that some babies have a lower 'base rate' and this could be the case with our child. If it continued they would do some blood test from the baby's scalp, which I can't remember the exact details of, in order to find the base rate and know exactly when it would become a problem. However, in the end they noted that the heart rate always returned to normal after around ten seconds so decided that the baby was fine.
At this stage, around 11pm Lucie was in real pain and stuggling to cope with the contractions - I can hardly blame her, as she had been having heavy contractions for hours and hours at this stage. She didn't want an epidural, but this changed as she found the contractions too hard to bear. She had gas and air but found it made her dizzy and feel out of control.
I have to admit, whilst not before the birth thrilled with the idea of an epidural, I was so glad she had one. Yes, I know that SHE was the one dealing with the labour, but I was mentally and physically exhausted by this stage having followed her through every contraction since 4am, and witnessing her in so much pain just made it worse. I'm not afraid to admit that whilst she wasn't looking I cried a little, then covered it up in order to carry on supporting her.
The anaesthetist arrived at 11.15pm and the effects were immediate, and if anything miraculous. She went from being in horrendous pain and unable to breath properly or talk to relaxed and cracking jokes.
The registrar was checking on our progress around every 30 minutes at this stage, due to the slow progression despite intense contractions, the dipping heart rate and the fact that Lucie had traces of protein in her urine and her blood pressure was still high (a possible sign of pre-eclampsia)
At this stage she warned me out of earshot of Lu that at some point they MIGHT have to take matters into their own hands and perform a caesarean section. If that did happen, things would go crazy, around five people would run into the room and take her straight to theatre, and that I wasn't to panic and just follow them.
Between this stage and 2.30am things were much more relaxed and the midwife just monitored the baby and Lucie, and we talked a lot together.
At around 2.30am progress was still slow, so it was decided to use a syntocin drip to move things along. This makes contractions even stronger so Lu's epidural was topped up.
This is when it gets hairy....
They administered this, and at around 2.49am there was a huge contraction (they register on the CTG monitor, so even though Lu had the epidural they knew the intensity of them) and the baby's heart rate halved. The registrar was called back in who stared at the results for about fifteen seconds, saying "go up, come on, up... just like you have all through tonight".
They didn't and suddenly after one yell about getting Lu to theatre immediately the room was full of medical staff, someone yelled for the anaesthetist and Lu was wheeled out the door, with the midwife telling me to follow.
We went down the corridor and on the way the registrar was trying to relax Lu - she said that she was still going to try to deliver the baby naturally ASAP, but if that failed they needed to be ready in surgery. As we reached the theatre the midwife pointed at a door and told me to strip down to my pants and put on a pair of scrubs and wait to be called in.
At 2.54am I was still anxiously waiting when a man in scrubs enter the room. He introduced himself as one of the surgeons and explained that as soon as they had entered theatre there made been some major complications. The baby was in distress and they had to put Lucie under general anaesthetic (i.e. knocked out) and because of that I couldn't go in. They were delivering the baby by emergency caesarean as we spoke and Lu would then be stitched up and taken to recovery. The baby might have had to go to intensive care, but he couldn't say for sure as he had left the room as it was being delivered when they realised that someone needed to update me on progress - they had had to move extremely quickly in theatre to save the baby so I was, in effect, an afterthought (which on this occasion I didn't mind).
The surgeon was great and really put my mind at ease when what he said should have knocked me for six. It turned out later that he also spoke calmly to Lucie as they were about to put her under general anaesthetic without having the time to explain fully why and helped her relax.
At 2.56am the midwife came into the room and said "congratulations, it's a boy!" and hugged me. She said that he was doing brilliant and they were just cleaning him up and dressing him to bring him through to me (as Lucie was still unconscious and being sewn up).
The next six minutes were a nightmare for me as I only wanted to ensure that both of my family where OK. It was overwhelming as only fifteen minutes before we had been going through an extremely slow labour, and suddenly my wife was under general anaesthetic having major surgery and my baby having to have its life saved through quick action.
At 3.02am the midwife finally bought my son into the room. As I cuddled him she pointed out that he had marks on his face where the registrar had to use forceps to deliver him, and that he had a birthmark right on his nose. I couldn't care less, he was absolutely beautiful to me.
She explained that Lucie would take some time to recover before she would be well enough to see the baby, so we returned to our delivery room where I spend fifty minutes on my own with my son, with the odd midwife dropping in to say congratulations. One said that I must be starving and offered me a hot drink and sandwiches. I suddenly discovered that it is almost impossible to open vacuum-packed sandwiches with one hand.
I had made a point of talking to the baby a lot during the pregnancy, as they say it helps them bond with you when they are born, and I will never forget the moment I took a crying Archie into my hands, I spoke to him and he stopped to look at me. He then spent the next 50 minutes just staring at me.
During this time the registrar came in to check on me, apologise for what had happened and explain. The baby's heart rate had dropped and she had every intention of trying a natural birth in the theatre as the baby was only "two or three pushes" from being born. However, the heart rate had continued to drop so she made the snap decision to perform a caesarean. To perform a 'normal' one with local anaesthetic takes around 20 minutes to set up (so that the anaesthetic has time to kick on). We didn't have that luxury so Lucie had to have a general anaesthetic ASAP.
During the surgery they found that the baby had it's umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, so she had to work quickly and pull him out with forceps. Luckily the baby was still happily breathing and the heart was beating, though if it had gone on it wouldn't have been that way.
She explained that on each heavy contraction the baby was probably being pushed into the birth canal and the twisted umbilical cord tightened causing the heart rate to drop. However, the baby would be able to move back upwards so the pressure eased.
However, after the syntocin drip the huge contraction caused the cervix to fully dilate and the baby to shoot most of the way down the birth canal. This obviously caused the serious problems.
Finally at 4am they said that we could go and see Lucie in the recovery room. I have to admit that she looked terrible and it wasn't fun to see her shaking (a side effect of such a heavy anaesthetic dose) or the various machines hooked up to her beeping away. I introduced her to our son and slowly watched her get better with time, and the colour returning to her face and the shaking stop.
At this stage we were moved to one of the mixed rooms with other pregnant or new mothers and various staff came in to regularly check blood pressure etc. Lucie was able to try to breastfeed at this point, and was successful. I took the opportunity to step outside and call our parents, as I was aware that it was now around two and a half hours since the baby was born.
Luckily I was told that I could stay the night with Lucie and our newborn, this was significant as at some labour wards if the baby is born out of visiting hours they make him leave soon after the birth.
I returned to the room and sat in a "comfy" chair provided for me. I desperately wanted to sleep having been up since 4am the previous day, but discovered in the next ten minutes or so that I would be constantly interrupted by nurses and midwives discussing things, and the automatic blood pressure monitor making a loud noise every time it started a new calculation. And the chair wasn't that comfy anyway, and whenever I dropped off my head would tilt forward and wake me up.
So at 7am I was still awake and spent all of today doing various tasks and changing tar-like nappies with no further feelings. To say I am knackered is an understatement. I'm now at home by myself as Lucie has to stay in (but will be back in at 8am in the morning and stay with them until 9pm tomorrow evening). I'm really missing my son already, though at least I know that he's next to his mum at the moment.
It was a hell of a ride!
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